The last several months have been some of the crazier of our lives. I’m not even sure how to summarize it all in a blog post, but there are only a handful of people who know everything so I think this will be the easiest way to keep everyone in the loop!
Last fall I started the application process for Portland State’s MSW program—I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be, but have always known I wanted to go back to school so I could start doing therapy with families and kiddos.
I hesitate even explaining what happened from here, but I’m not one to pretend everything is perfect. If talking more openly about it can encourage someone else, then I am game.
Right around February, I got an email from PSU. Wait listed. I really think God was so faithful in that moment, because just an hour earlier I was working on some hand lettering… What was I writing? It is well with my soul. My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. The Lord your God is always with you. Just random things that were popping into my head that I decided to doodle, and ensured when I got that email my heart was so content. The only real feeling I had was gratefulness that God was so good to know what I would need to hear in that moment.
Many of Aaron and my life decisions would be based on whether I got into PSU or not, but this threw us right back into a season of waiting. There were so many moments of deep peace and trust, but I also had a lot of moments of feeling like I wasn’t good enough, especially as I had friends who found out they were accepted right off the bat. Those months had many good cries driving around between visits. I would get to their house, pull myself together, and pretend everything was fine. I also felt deep in my soul that Jesus was using all of this for my good, and that the outcome wasn’t going to be as important my obedience and openness in the waiting.
I learned that I elevated this degree higher than I should have. If I felt my calling was contingent upon getting a certain degree, then maybe that was more about what I wanted to do, and less about what God was asking of me in each moment. God used those circumstances to remind me that getting my MSW was a good thing, not the good thing. The good thing is Jesus, and that realignment was unexpected but necessary.
Aaron took his first round of boards at the end of March, and then we headed off on a road trip to San Francisco. A few days into that trip, I got an email from PSU again, saying they were admitting me to the Eugene MSW program. It would be the same MSW program, but I would drive down to Eugene once a week for classes. I accepted, and started planning to start school this summer, still fighting those “not enough” feelings of having to go to a distance option.
Part of the MSW involves a practicum related to your concentration (mine was Advanced Clinical, so basically adult mental health practice). To give context, since I was in school at George Fox I have wanted to be a play therapist—using play and other expressive techniques to help children and families process and heal from trauma. I had an interview at a private counseling practice with a former professor, and learned if I got the placement I would be doing play therapy independently with 10 clients a week.
Y’ALL THIS EXACT PLACEMENT HAS BEEN MY DREAM FOR SIX YEARS.
I found out I got the internship, and cried happy tears the entire way home.
I heard things like, “Well of course you got it!” from a lot of people, and felt resistant to that statement, but couldn’t figure out why. Here’s what I figured out— I didn’t do anything to deserve it. It could have easily gone to someone else, I could have easily gotten another internship, and it would have been fine. I didn’t deserve it. But God gives such good gifts. He knows my heart, and in his grace and love for me, orchestrated so many things to fall into place for my good.
THEN, last week I got a call from PSU saying, “Actually, we were wondering if you’re interested in just taking your whole program at the Portland campus? And changing your concentration to Children, Youth, & Families (the concentration I originally wanted, but wasn’t offered at the Eugene campus)?” I mean I can’t even make this stuff up y’all. So after months of uncertainty and a little bit of chaos, I don’t have to drive to Eugene at all—which is really wonderful, because I might have lost my mind by the end of the year.
Aaron passed his board exam, and is leaving next week for Bend, where he will be spending the summer doing his first rotation for the last year of his doctorate. Long distance marriage, here we go! We will each take turns spending weekends in Bend or Portland, but it will definitely be an adjustment. And I will move to my parents’ house so we don’t have to pay two rents. Sorry Mom and Dad; can’t get rid of me. He will move back in August, and we will hopefully get an apartment in the Tualatin area.
After a lot of reflecting and painful decision making, I made the decision to leave my job in mid-July. If you have talked to me for more than five minutes, you know I adore the families I work with, and am super passionate about the challenges they face. My coworkers are incredible, I am challenged constantly to grow and learn new ways of supporting and serving them. It is going to be really hard to say goodbye, and I’m not super stoked about it. Whatever I commit to, I want to do it well, and I don’t think I would be as present at this job if my mind were scattered in so many different directions. It wouldn’t be fair to my families, and I want them to have the best experience possible while in our program. Learning to step away from good things for the sake of others and myself is stretching to say the least.
Aaron will graduate next May with his Doctorate in Optometry, and I will graduate next June with my Masters in Social Work. And then who knows. We are learning (forcibly) what it looks like to have faith and peace in the midst of waiting and the unknown, and I kind of love it. Not every day, but some days.
I will be doing school full time, but am planning a couple things to at least pay for some of our living expenses so we aren’t just surviving on loans. I’ll definitely give more detailed updates in the next few weeks, but here’s what I’ll say so far. Y’all have probably seen my occasional hand lettering pictures. I have started doing paid pieces sporadically, as well as wedding invitation addressing, and will likely join the Etsy world at some point this summer with custom hand lettered prints, wood signs, and maybe a few other fun things. We’ll see.
I have been trying to think of ways to still engage my social work brain, just in a different way than a regularly scheduled job (that I don’t have the bandwidth for) would. And then I discovered Noonday Collection.
The way we engage in social justice is important, and the more I learn about Noonday, the more excited I become. They partner with artisans in 12 different countries, paying women a fair, living wage to make jewelry and accessories that use techniques that are traditional to their culture and country. The results are pretty unbelievable. 20,000+ families members have been impacted because women are being given opportunities to work for reliable, safe organizations that Noonday partners with. This is their website, I will probably talk more about what I will be doing in the next few weeks, so keep an eye out for that! Here’s their website if you’re curious and want to see more of their heart.
Last fall I started the application process for Portland State’s MSW program—I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be, but have always known I wanted to go back to school so I could start doing therapy with families and kiddos.
I hesitate even explaining what happened from here, but I’m not one to pretend everything is perfect. If talking more openly about it can encourage someone else, then I am game.
Right around February, I got an email from PSU. Wait listed. I really think God was so faithful in that moment, because just an hour earlier I was working on some hand lettering… What was I writing? It is well with my soul. My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. The Lord your God is always with you. Just random things that were popping into my head that I decided to doodle, and ensured when I got that email my heart was so content. The only real feeling I had was gratefulness that God was so good to know what I would need to hear in that moment.
Many of Aaron and my life decisions would be based on whether I got into PSU or not, but this threw us right back into a season of waiting. There were so many moments of deep peace and trust, but I also had a lot of moments of feeling like I wasn’t good enough, especially as I had friends who found out they were accepted right off the bat. Those months had many good cries driving around between visits. I would get to their house, pull myself together, and pretend everything was fine. I also felt deep in my soul that Jesus was using all of this for my good, and that the outcome wasn’t going to be as important my obedience and openness in the waiting.
I learned that I elevated this degree higher than I should have. If I felt my calling was contingent upon getting a certain degree, then maybe that was more about what I wanted to do, and less about what God was asking of me in each moment. God used those circumstances to remind me that getting my MSW was a good thing, not the good thing. The good thing is Jesus, and that realignment was unexpected but necessary.
Aaron took his first round of boards at the end of March, and then we headed off on a road trip to San Francisco. A few days into that trip, I got an email from PSU again, saying they were admitting me to the Eugene MSW program. It would be the same MSW program, but I would drive down to Eugene once a week for classes. I accepted, and started planning to start school this summer, still fighting those “not enough” feelings of having to go to a distance option.
Part of the MSW involves a practicum related to your concentration (mine was Advanced Clinical, so basically adult mental health practice). To give context, since I was in school at George Fox I have wanted to be a play therapist—using play and other expressive techniques to help children and families process and heal from trauma. I had an interview at a private counseling practice with a former professor, and learned if I got the placement I would be doing play therapy independently with 10 clients a week.
Y’ALL THIS EXACT PLACEMENT HAS BEEN MY DREAM FOR SIX YEARS.
I found out I got the internship, and cried happy tears the entire way home.
I heard things like, “Well of course you got it!” from a lot of people, and felt resistant to that statement, but couldn’t figure out why. Here’s what I figured out— I didn’t do anything to deserve it. It could have easily gone to someone else, I could have easily gotten another internship, and it would have been fine. I didn’t deserve it. But God gives such good gifts. He knows my heart, and in his grace and love for me, orchestrated so many things to fall into place for my good.
THEN, last week I got a call from PSU saying, “Actually, we were wondering if you’re interested in just taking your whole program at the Portland campus? And changing your concentration to Children, Youth, & Families (the concentration I originally wanted, but wasn’t offered at the Eugene campus)?” I mean I can’t even make this stuff up y’all. So after months of uncertainty and a little bit of chaos, I don’t have to drive to Eugene at all—which is really wonderful, because I might have lost my mind by the end of the year.
Aaron passed his board exam, and is leaving next week for Bend, where he will be spending the summer doing his first rotation for the last year of his doctorate. Long distance marriage, here we go! We will each take turns spending weekends in Bend or Portland, but it will definitely be an adjustment. And I will move to my parents’ house so we don’t have to pay two rents. Sorry Mom and Dad; can’t get rid of me. He will move back in August, and we will hopefully get an apartment in the Tualatin area.
After a lot of reflecting and painful decision making, I made the decision to leave my job in mid-July. If you have talked to me for more than five minutes, you know I adore the families I work with, and am super passionate about the challenges they face. My coworkers are incredible, I am challenged constantly to grow and learn new ways of supporting and serving them. It is going to be really hard to say goodbye, and I’m not super stoked about it. Whatever I commit to, I want to do it well, and I don’t think I would be as present at this job if my mind were scattered in so many different directions. It wouldn’t be fair to my families, and I want them to have the best experience possible while in our program. Learning to step away from good things for the sake of others and myself is stretching to say the least.
Aaron will graduate next May with his Doctorate in Optometry, and I will graduate next June with my Masters in Social Work. And then who knows. We are learning (forcibly) what it looks like to have faith and peace in the midst of waiting and the unknown, and I kind of love it. Not every day, but some days.
I will be doing school full time, but am planning a couple things to at least pay for some of our living expenses so we aren’t just surviving on loans. I’ll definitely give more detailed updates in the next few weeks, but here’s what I’ll say so far. Y’all have probably seen my occasional hand lettering pictures. I have started doing paid pieces sporadically, as well as wedding invitation addressing, and will likely join the Etsy world at some point this summer with custom hand lettered prints, wood signs, and maybe a few other fun things. We’ll see.
I have been trying to think of ways to still engage my social work brain, just in a different way than a regularly scheduled job (that I don’t have the bandwidth for) would. And then I discovered Noonday Collection.
The way we engage in social justice is important, and the more I learn about Noonday, the more excited I become. They partner with artisans in 12 different countries, paying women a fair, living wage to make jewelry and accessories that use techniques that are traditional to their culture and country. The results are pretty unbelievable. 20,000+ families members have been impacted because women are being given opportunities to work for reliable, safe organizations that Noonday partners with. This is their website, I will probably talk more about what I will be doing in the next few weeks, so keep an eye out for that! Here’s their website if you’re curious and want to see more of their heart.
