I love listening to stories about situations coming together
in a way that could only be by the grace of God. When a season of waiting or
doubt concludes and people can look back and say, “Finally! I get it now.”
I don’t play the waiting game patiently. When I am in the
midst of uncertainty I just want answers, I want to see how in the world God is
working through these events that don’t make sense from my perspective.
I don’t think I am alone in this experience.
I am slowly learning how to trust in the waiting. I wish I
could say that is because my faith is just oh so strong, but it’s mostly
because God has continued to meet me where I’m at and reveal the ways He is
leading me according to His will.
I just finished reading a book called “Girl Meets Change,”
by Kristen Strong. IT’S SO GOOD, if you need a book recommendation. Something
that really hit me is this. She says, “God is not idle. I don’t need to resent
the wait. I need to hold on to the belief that what I see around me may look
slow to move, but in it God moves in perfect time.” Mic drop.
“And we know that in all things God
works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his
purpose.” Romans 8:28
The best example of this that I have is a lovely little
thing called social work.
At the age of 23, I am 2 years into a career I didn’t know
existed 5 years ago. Alright, time for a story.
As do seemingly all youth group-going teenagers, I went to
Mexico every summer to build houses. Each year I came back and described it as
“impacting” among several other Jesus-y adjectives, but so often I would come
home and life would carry on. Same old routine, no lasting transformation.
The last year I went God did what he has a habit of doing,
and broke my heart in ways that would potentially impact the entire course of
my life. Driving through Tijuana to our campsite I watched out the bus window
as we passed miles and miles of poverty and oppression while a rowdy game of
Catchphrase went on behind me. I couldn’t understand why I felt so angry, so
heartbroken, and so different than how I had felt in years past.
Recently I found a journal I had written from that day, and
one of the things 18 year old Courtney had written was this: “I realize now I
was complacent with confronting poverty on a slightly occasional time frame. But
I really can’t do that anymore. Seeing these people as people- not just a
stereotype or a number- has made me realize I can’t live the rest of my life
not doing something.”
And this dear friends, is the day social work came into my
life.
No, I still had no idea social work existed, but I can see now
that God used my anger over injustice and watching people not notice any of it to begin to orient my heart to
noticing marginalization and brokenness, and the inherent worth of every person.
The theme from that trip was so beautifully fitting, “Truth
breaks the hold fear has on us and love is our reaction. Let grace displace
complacency and move our souls to action.”
That fall I went to George Fox as a psychology major. Shortly
after starting I learned about this program that focused on addressing
significant social issues, advocacy, restoration—all of these things that had
so suddenly filled my heart earlier that summer.
This is the next “Holy cow God knew what He wanted to do and
He orchestrated it without my even knowing it” moment.
Back up just for a minute. During my senior year I made the
seemingly questionable choice to only apply to two schools— George Fox and
Azusa Pacific. Spoiler alert, accredited social work programs aren’t super prolific,
yet both of those schools had them. What?! What are the chances of that? Mic
drop number 2.
The three years I spent getting that degree were wonderful,
stressful, and shaping. And now that I am doing the work I feel so at peace
with what I’m doing and where I’m at.
There’s something about finally ending up in the place God
put as a call on your heart that just makes you want to give Him a fist bump.
Like, “Nice work man, I’m glad you’re in charge of this whole thing and not me,
because who knows where I would have ended up on my own.”
It seems like I am in a season of waiting with about half a
dozen different situations on a fairly consistent basis. So often my prayer is
for trust without answers, discernment & guidance without knowing the end
to the story.
It’s easy to trust when you’re looking in hindsight. You see
significance in moments that a few years ago held little importance, or were so
devastating that you couldn’t imagine a time in which they could be viewed as
for your good.
Yet God is there through every moment, doing the slow work
of transformation to prepare our hearts for what He knows lies ahead.
